There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
