oh god the rape fog is back!
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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