I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
