I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
