I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
