Pants 0. Shit 1.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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