My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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