man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
everyone is single if you try hard enough
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
