I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
