I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
