I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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