So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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