I cockslap morals
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
