You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
