dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
