It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
