You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
