R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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