And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
