Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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