I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
