my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
