Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
