Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
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