I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You need a sexual gate keeper
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
