And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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