If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
