This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
