You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
