It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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