Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize
