When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
