it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
