So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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