He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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