you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
