The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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