lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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