this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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