So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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