Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
