I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
