Define "chronic" masturbator.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
two words...techno handjob
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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