While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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