so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
