Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm at about main and main street
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Two words: blizzard sex
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
