Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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