That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
