Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
