hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
