im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
