apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
