GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
