The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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